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Podcast of the Day

Why We Fall in Love with a False Self

June 14, 2011

Host Armand DiMele Guests Kenny Baron, Lauren Sykes, Linda Vanella, Sherri Siegel

What if people don’t fall in love with who you really are, but with the polished self you perform? Armand DiMele argues that revealing your true self often drives partners away, and that therapy’s push for authenticity can backfire. A caller’s story of kibbutz bullying, suicide, and bulimia recovery gives the theory raw, unexpected weight.

Wisdom of the Week

The Social Power of Reputation

Featured episode while curated clips are being prepared.

Why does reputation matter so deeply? Armand DiMele traces the primal need for social acceptance from tribal survival through modern credit scores and gendered slurs, arguing that obsession with how others see us can hollow out intimacy and drive social phobia. Callers share their own struggles with image and belonging.

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Sixteen themes spanning four decades of the show.

Addiction & Compulsion35 episodes Aging & Mortality21 episodes Anxiety & Fear65 episodes Communication & Conflict44 episodes Depression & Mood51 episodes Emotions & Inner Life361 episodes Family & Parenting45 episodes Grief & Loss10 episodes Identity & The Self195 episodes Love & Romantic Relationships101 episodes Meaning, Spirituality & Philosophy42 episodes Personal Growth & Change191 episodes Sexuality & Desire15 episodes Society, Culture & Current Events62 episodes The Mind & Neuroscience136 episodes Trauma & Healing23 episodes

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addiction adolescence aggression aging amygdala anger antidepressants anxiety attachment attention attraction authenticity authority avoidance belonging betrayal blame body awareness body image bonding boundaries brain chemistry caregiving childhood childhood trauma childhood wounds codependency commitment compassion compulsion conflict conformity connection consciousness control couples creativity curiosity deception decision making denial dependency depression desire dissociation dominance dopamine ego empathy evolution family family dynamics fear fight or flight generosity genetics gratitude grief guilt habits happiness holidays honesty hormones identity impulse control infidelity intimacy introspection isolation jealousy listening loneliness loss love masculinity memory mindfulness mood motivation narcissism nervous system neuroscience numbness obsession oxytocin pain parenting passive aggression perception perfectionism personality personality types power powerlessness presence projection rage rejection repression resentment resilience romantic love seasonal affective disorder self-acceptance self-deception self-esteem self-knowledge self-worth serotonin sexuality shame sleep stress suicide survival transformation trauma trust vulnerability

About The Positive Mind Center

In the heart of New York City, helping people for over 40 years.

Located on 57th Street, The Positive Mind Center delivers comprehensive mental health counseling and psychotherapy. Founded by Armand DiMele over 40 years ago.

Learn More About The Center

The Positive Mind with Armand DiMele