Playing the victim is a strategy, not just a feeling. Armand DiMele examines how adopting a victim stance recruits allies, deflects accountability, and keeps conflict alive, drawing on callers’ stories of family betrayal, injustice, and the hard work of forgiving those who caused real harm.
Protecting people from the truth slowly erases who you are. Armand DiMele argues that fear of hurting others’ feelings drives chronic self-suppression, indecision, and blame, tracing how the habit often begins in family dynamics and quietly hollows out a person’s sense of self.
We are all born with slightly more of one trait than another, and under stress that trait gets exaggerated into what we call a personality disorder. Armand explores this continuum with Lisa Arnone, LCSW, and Dr. Erin Oberlander, examining projection, borderline dynamics, and why blame, whether of self or others, keeps people stuck.
Blame is the enemy of intimacy. Armand DiMele and co-therapists Linda Vanella, LCSW-R, and Ora Yemini-Morrison, LCSW, trace how couples mistake internal anxiety for a partner’s wrongdoing, and what it takes to interrupt that reflex through body awareness, emotional vocabulary, and knowing when to simply stop talking.
Different personalities respond to mass catastrophe in recognizably different ways: some blame, some freeze, some go numb, some take action. Armand DiMele and Linda Vanella, LCSW-R, use the 2011 Japan earthquake and tsunami as a lens for examining these patterns, drawing on Japanese cultural values of harmony and collective responsibility along with calls from listeners.
Jealousy strips away self-awareness faster than almost any other emotion, and Armand DiMele argues that is no accident. He traces the biological roots of jealousy, explains the neuroscience of introspection (gray and white matter in the prefrontal cortex), and shows why even sophisticated people collapse into blame when hormones or threat responses take over.
Moods are not simply feelings but products of neurotransmitters, nutrition, environment, and psychology working together. Armand DiMele argues that blame and repetitive arguing perpetuate bad moods rather than resolve them, and that a flexible, expansive mind, one open even to nonsense and surprise, is the real tool for change.
Fairness in relationships is not tit-for-tat bargaining but a deeply learned language from childhood, argues Dr. B. Janet Hibbs, author of “Try to See It My Way.” Armand DiMele and co-host Dr. William Peter Atwood explore how unmet childhood needs quietly poison adult partnerships, and how couples can replace blame with direct claims.
Denial is the foundation of addiction, the first response to death, and the reason heart attacks go untreated. Armand DiMele breaks down six distinct forms, from simple denial of fact to the subtler denial of cycle and denial of denial, and explains how facing reality, even in someone else’s dying moments, can be the greatest gift we offer.
What does it mean to be ‘out of your mind’? Armand DiMele maps the spectrum of mental fragility, from blaming others to blaming yourself, arguing that stability begins when you stop looking outward for the cause of your suffering. Callers explore rage, grief, and the fear of letting go of pain.
