Love is supposed to be the prize, so why is it so painful? Armand DiMele unpacks the psychology of neediness in relationships, arguing that desperation itself can poison a partnership. Drawing on Albert Pesso, Co-founder of Pesso Boyden Therapy, he explores how men and women become needy at different stages, how betrayal trauma differs from fear-based PTSD, and why the drive to make a relationship work can doom it.
Why do people fall in love, and why do they stop? Armand DiMele, joined in the studio by Lisa Arnone, LCSW, uses Freud’s id and ego to explain romantic longing as an inner drive, exploring how unmet needs pull us toward love and how self-sufficiency can quiet that pull entirely.
Happy couples are rarer than we admit, and Armand DiMele argues that keeping love alive requires a growth mindset, emotional honesty, and resisting the slow drift into sleepwalking togetherness. A caller’s reflection on being a Black gay man navigating impossible masculine expectations gives the conversation real weight.
Why does love, the ultimate prize, cause so much pain? Armand DiMele traces the roots of romantic neediness, examining how men and women fall into obsession at different points in a relationship, why desperation can both draw people in and push them away, and what the concept of limerence reveals about involuntary romantic longing.
