Category: Love & Romantic Relationships

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Safety and Danger in Love March 7, 2012

Host: Armand DiMele
Category: Anxiety & Fear, Love & Romantic Relationships

Is the feeling of safety in relationships a genuine need or an illusion? Armand DiMele argues that craving safety actually signals underlying anxiety, that chronic worriers cannot truly love, and that real intimacy requires tolerating danger rather than eliminating it. Callers share stories of dependency, caretaking, and long-term relationships shaped by depression and mental illness.

When Couples Stop Blaming Each Other March 6, 2012

Host: Armand DiMeleGuests: John Valerio, Linda Vanella, Ora Yemini Morrison
Category: Emotions & Inner Life, Love & Romantic Relationships

Blame is the enemy of intimacy. Armand DiMele and co-therapists Linda Vanella, LCSW-R, and Ora Yemini-Morrison, LCSW, trace how couples mistake internal anxiety for a partner’s wrongdoing, and what it takes to interrupt that reflex through body awareness, emotional vocabulary, and knowing when to simply stop talking.

Love is the Grease on the Gears of Life December 27, 2011

Host: Armand DiMeleGuests: Linda Vanella, Michael Jessen
Category: Emotions & Inner Life, Love & Romantic Relationships

Love, Armand argues, is what keeps us moving through life, and sex is what keeps love alive. With Linda Vanella, LCSW-R and Michael Jessen, Armand explores why the very traits that draw us to a partner eventually become their most irritating qualities, and what it takes to push through that reversal into a deeper connection.

How We Learn to Get Loved November 8, 2011

Host: Armand DiMele
Category: Identity & The Self, Love & Romantic Relationships

Why do we pursue love the way we do? Armand DiMele traces how childhood strategies for earning affection harden into adult personality patterns, using the Enneagram’s nine types to show how perfectionists, caretakers, performers, and others each chase bonding in ways that can undermine the very connection they crave.

Why We Fear Getting Close October 4, 2011

Host: Armand DiMele
Category: Identity & The Self, Love & Romantic Relationships

Loving others feels good, so why do so many people sabotage it? Armand DiMele traces the roots of intimacy fear to conditional childhood love, laying out the defense mechanisms, control dynamics, blame patterns, and victim roles that quietly wreck adult relationships. A co-host named Linda and callers add their voices.

The Eight Phases of Love September 1, 2011

Category: Emotions & Inner Life, Love & Romantic Relationships

Armand DiMele lays out his own framework for the eight phases romantic love passes through, from the chemistry-driven honeymoon to the seven-year itch, selective immobility, and beyond. Co-host Stephanie joins the discussion, and Helen Fisher’s work on love and brain chemistry gets a nod along the way.

Why We Fall in Love with a False Self June 14, 2011

Host: Armand DiMeleGuests: Kenny Baron, Lauren Sykes, Linda Vanella, Sherri Siegel
Category: Identity & The Self, Love & Romantic Relationships

What if people don’t fall in love with who you really are, but with the polished self you perform? Armand DiMele argues that revealing your true self often drives partners away, and that therapy’s push for authenticity can backfire. A caller’s story of kibbutz bullying, suicide, and bulimia recovery gives the theory raw, unexpected weight.

Finding Your Loving Self April 1, 2011

Host: Armand DiMele
Category: Identity & The Self, Love & Romantic Relationships

What does it mean to be your real self, and is it even worth it? Armand DiMele argues that when you love someone, you are really loving the feeling of yourself in their presence, which reframes heartbreak, authenticity, and the search for connection as fundamentally inward journeys. Callers push the question further.

Love Is an Emerging Process February 14, 2011

Host: Armand DiMele
Category: Emotions & Inner Life, Love & Romantic Relationships

Love is not a state of grace you grab hold of but an aching, ongoing process rooted in childhood imitation and covered by self-protective fraud. Armand DiMele argues that couples who survive deception often reach a deeper nakedness than those who never tested their bond at all.

Freedom from Definitions of Love January 27, 2011

Host: Armand DiMele
Category: Emotions & Inner Life, Love & Romantic Relationships

No therapist can hand you the right formula for love, and Armand argues that freedom from definitions is the real gift. Neurotic love, dishonest love, unconventional love can all work. What matters is noticing your own sensations, from longing to satisfaction, and trusting what fits you.