Possessiveness gets a bad name, but Armand DiMele argues the impulse to belong and be claimed is deeply human. With co-hosts Ben Starr and Giullian Gioiello and clinician Lisa Arnone, LCSW, the conversation moves from child development and hoarding to family alienation and the paradox that you must feel owned before you can push free.
Why can’t you get someone out of your head? Armand DiMele traces romantic obsession to the brain’s danger-detection system, arguing that the amygdala treats lost love as a survival threat. Linda Vanella, LCSW-R, joins co-hosts Ben Starr and Giullian Gioiello as callers share raw stories of grief, betrayal, and letting go.
Armand DiMele argues that rejection is not a feeling but a perception of someone else’s behavior, and that the real emotional work begins when you ask what you actually felt underneath it. The episode ranges from the psychology of giving and receiving gifts to sexual withdrawal, childhood conditioning, and callers navigating depression and family pressure.
Loneliness is not about needing someone else but about needing yourself. Armand DiMele examines this through caller stories, statistics on elderly isolation, and a discussion of how online communities, television, and spiritual connection serve as substitutes for genuine self-acceptance.
Playing the victim is a strategy, not just a feeling. Armand DiMele examines how adopting a victim stance recruits allies, deflects accountability, and keeps conflict alive, drawing on callers’ stories of family betrayal, injustice, and the hard work of forgiving those who caused real harm.
Emotions quietly hijack our choices before we even know it. Armand DiMele, joined by Lisa Arnone, LCSW, and co-host Giullian Gioiello, walks through a catalog of cognitive and emotional biases, from anchoring and the bandwagon effect to choice-supportive thinking, showing how pausing to reflect remains the most practical corrective.
Why do human beings turn violent, against themselves or others? Armand DiMele and co-host Giullian Gioiello survey the scope of violence, from suicide and child firearms deaths to intimate partner abuse and collective atrocities like the Cambodian killing fields, urging listeners to look inward rather than only outward at the problem.
Violence lives inside everyone, and Armand DiMele traces its origins from brain chemistry (serotonin, testosterone, adrenaline) to childhood trauma to personality type. Callers share firsthand accounts of growing up with domestic violence, and Armand examines how givers, perfectionists, and competitors each carry hidden aggression.
Feelings are the real work of therapy, Armand argues, and this episode shows that live. After a frank rant about WBAI’s chronic mismanagement, a caller named Donna breaks down on air, revealing a life spent pleasing others at the cost of her own passions. Armand coaxes her into singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and the moment lands with unexpected power.
Love is supposed to be the prize, so why is it so painful? Armand DiMele unpacks the psychology of neediness in relationships, arguing that desperation itself can poison a partnership. Drawing on Albert Pesso, Co-founder of Pesso Boyden Therapy, he explores how men and women become needy at different stages, how betrayal trauma differs from fear-based PTSD, and why the drive to make a relationship work can doom it.
